Bow No More

I can bow no more

My knees are open wounds

Ground with dirt and circumspect self-hatred.

 

No,

I am only laughing now.

 

Scraping away at the bottom of darkness

With my bloody fingertips

That grasped at your love and acceptance.

 

Yes,

I am only laughing now.

 

Because I can bow no more.

You Might be a Witch if…

A little something fun ; )

You might be a witch if…

1. If you’ve ever googled “How to get wax stains out of carpet.”

 

2. If you’ve worried about catching your hair on fire more than once in your life.

 

3. If you pay just as much attention to the color of the candle you’re sniffing, as the smell.

 

4. If your idea of a good calendar is one with moon phases.

 

5. If your house is the only one on the block with light during a power outage.

 

Meno<3

Condemned

Condemned I am
In all things
In all worlds
In all breaths
On all tongues
Cursed one
Whom you disdain
With fury
Born of misery

Shall I rot
As those who came before me
Whether in heaven or hell
My childhood cries
Were fraught with heresy
And demonic symphonies
You have told me such
As I nursed helplessly
That I should die
As soon as I began to live

Cursed am I
So that I gather the faggots
With bloody hands
Repent with tearful eyes
Blistered body burned by your vitriolic desire
‘Til I no longer plague your perfection

The Witch’s Bookshelf (Book Review): The Long Hard Road out of Hell

In my opinion the apocalypse… Must be primarily an internal, spiritual event, and only in a secondary way an external catastrophe. The gates of the Watchtowers… are mental constructions. When they are opened, they will admit [Satan] not into the physical world but into our subconscious minds…. The apocalypse is a mental transformation that will occur, or is presently occurring, within the collective unconscious of the human race.

-Donald Tyson, “the Enochian Apocalypse”, as quoted in chapter 15 of “The Long Hard Road out of Hell” by Marilyn Manson (with Niel Strauss)

The Long Hard Road out of Hell: Marilyn Manson, with Niel Strauss

images

 

There are few people in this day and age with the brutal notoriety of Marilyn Manson, which is ironic, since honestly all he’s done is create art, deep and sometimes disturbing art, but just art.

Of course the people who have made him so notorious are the same people who eventually put Gallello on house arrest for continuing to stand by his idea that the earth revolves around the sun. Not that Manson seems to mind, he knows very well that his popularity would be hard won without the churches constant opposition, much the same way that LaVey maintained that his church would not exist without Christianity. You could say that they are the unwitting, and unwilling catalysts.

With all of this uproar it sometimes feels difficult to separate the man from the legend. This book goes a long way towards that.

I’ll admit that I’m a big fan. Why? Because I can relate, as a person, as an artist, plain and simple. I am part of the apocalypse. Christianity had died within me, has been buried in a small unmarked grave in my soul. Why would I want to remember my torment anyways?

So I suppose it won’t surprise anyone that I really enjoyed this book. I don’t suggest it as reading for just anyone, but if you’re a fan, or you’re willing to take a trip into the darkness, then this book is for you.

Manson (Brian Warner) starts with his formative years, as any sensible person would. It is a story much softer than his namesake (Charles Manson, who’s formative years were full of abuse and abandonment of the deepest kind), but still no bed of roses. These formative years are often were we as humans begin to lose or gain our ability for things like empathy and emotion, and that seems to be the common thread throughout this book, Manson’s struggle to maintain his empathy and emotion.

His recounting of his childhood bleeds into a drug fueled rebirth as a godforsaken rock star. This centers chiefly around the struggle to complete Antichrist Superstar, which in turn portrays Manson’s rebirth.

It is here, in my opinion, that his true depth as an artist shines through. We all have our demons, and we all use our art to exorcise them. We all have something to say, something to share. This is our stage.

Turn away if you must.

 

 

 

 

Blight

The seed is gestational

Plump and ripe

But time touches it

How cruelly

The blight creeps

From the inside

Darkening even the shell

Till it cracks and falls away

 

Then I am left empty

A vessel only for desire

The poison that erodes the walls

So subtly

 

Mother moon how you turn

I take solace in your ever changing

I offer you my vessel

Void

And you touch my desire

My blight

With the reassurance

Of constant transformation

For what I am today

Is not what I will be

Tomorrow

 

 

 

 

Sons and Daughters of Perdition (book launch)

It’s here, I’ve done it, I’ve taken the leap and finally self-published my very first ebook!!!

You can buy it not only at Smashwords, but also at all of the fine retailers that they distribute to. to check it out on smashwords just click the following link https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/691660. I must confess I’m over the top nervous, but this has been a dream come true and I’m super happy with the finished product. I have included a sample below, it is the poem from which I derived the title. Thank you to all of my blog readers, and to all of the other independent authors out there that have encouraged me along the way!

Meno<3

Sons and Daughters of Perdition

 

We cannot sleep

Disjointed

Sometimes alone

Sometimes afraid

Sometimes Longing

To return

The fold is closed

The door is sealed

Hope is starved

And weak

Almost dead

 

We are lonely

On the horizon

But as we descend

Into the valley,

Like a sea

Living, breathing

We find them,

Our fellows

Who share our heartbeat

Enfolding us

In their masses

Oh sons and daughters of perdition!

Do not sorrow!

Cover Art For My First Book (Or: Making Your Own Cover Art For Hard knocks)

cover-art

So dear readers, here’s my tentative cover, for better or worse. What do you think? I wanted to start with something simple and easy, since this is my first book, I think this came out very well. I’ll explain how I did it below, but first, let me explain the cover and the book behind it (feel free to skip to the cover design part).

The Sons and Daughters of Perdition: Furthermore referred to as SDP, because I’m too lazy to type it over and over again (hey, I’m sick, give me a break!). SDP is my first book of poetry (which I plan on releasing at the start of 2017). I’m dedicating it to all of you who have had the courage to go your own way religiously, despite resistance from your friends and family (or fear of resistance).

That is in fact what this book is about, daring to go ones own way. I chose the title ‘sons and daughters of perdition’ not because I’m from a Mormon family, but because I thought it wonderfully summed up the feeling of those who have left their birth-faith. I’m actually from one of those rag-tag sprouts of Christianity, a bit of a homeless wanderer. Most of the smaller branches of Christianity, as you may know, are practically interchangeable (and there are so many to interchange), as long as you aren’t a hair-splitting kind of person.

I hope that you, my dear readers, will find this book comforting. When I broke from my birth-religion I was in the dark, not knowing that other people had the same experience as I did, and that they’d come out the other side alright, better than before in fact. If I can help even one person understand that it isn’t the end of the world, and that they’ll find a way out of this perpetual darkness that organized religion had cast them into, then my job is done.

I chose the iris (if you can tell that it is indeed an iris in the picture) because it’s symbolic of a bridge between heaven and earth. I personally believe that we can be our own bridge between heaven and earth and we need not rely on others to achieve balance and a life worth living.

 

How I made the cover:

Being a complete novice when it comes to self-publishing, I did my own cover art, not having read the vociferous and myriad warnings that a writer cannot do their own cover art and should always use stock photos or hire an artist (so feel free to tell me how terrible my cover looks). I knew I could use stock photos, but I couldn’t imagine one that would feel right, stock photos are too smooth and manufactured, they don’t really catch the spirit of my book. The drawing took me about two and a half hours (ouch, my shoulder! Why Can’t I learn to use an easel!). It is done with pencil (for the sketch) and watercolor pencils (hence the slightly less detailed feeling), the symbols were done with a Chinese calligraphy set. The background is also watercolor pencil, although I haven’t added water to it.

Then I loaded it up to my computer and asked myself ‘what in the heck do I do with it now?? How do I get text on it??’. Cue google. Since like most writers just starting out I have little to no money and no software, I had to search for a cheap easy way to design a cover. To my surprise I learned that you can use Microsoft word to make a cover (imagine that!). Me and Microsoft word have always been BF’s but now we’re BFF’s.

This is a pretty good starter tutorial for starters, courtesy of the creative penn. It helped a ton.

I soon realized though that this was something would take quite a while to master, mostly because there are so many useful settings in Microsoft word. So I kept trying and failing, until I discovered ‘templates’ on this neat site http://www.diybookformats.com  which also has a lot of video tutorials and the like. Only catch of course (as near as I can see, let me know if you know of any others) is that he wants you to sign up for the newsletter if you want to download the free templates (not the full package fyi, but quite enough). I’m always a little wary of free downloads, but so far so good.

I played with a few templates, then found the perfect one, switched in my picture and tweaked it. That was when I realized that my biggest flaw had been fonts, which was incidentally the one thing I struggled most with.

So to put it bluntly, making a book cover by yourself is not easy. If you are going to do it I suggest you start waaaayyyy ahead of time and learn everything you can about the program (or programs) you’re planning on using (please don’t be a procrastinator like me).

I wish all indie writers out there the best of luck! May we either be able to design kickass covers, or have enough money to get someone to design them for us!!!!

 

Cheers

Meno<3

 

Have you had any experiences designing your own covers? Have questions? Let me know below in the comments.

The Witch’s Bookshelf: Urban Voodoo (Book Review)

urban

Urban Voodoo, A beginner’s Guide to Afro-Caribbean Magic By: S. Jason Black and Christopher S. Hyatt, Ph.D.:

I have long felt that Voodoo (as well as hoodoo and all of the other various offshoots), has been by far the biggest gap in my cultural, religious, magical knowledge. So I was excited when I was able to snag this book.

However, I ended up quite disappointed. Now it is firmly established that this a beginners sort of book, so I was prepared for that. What I was not prepared for was the brute condescension with which they argue against most other religions. In fact, it felt as though they should have titled this book ‘why Voodoo is better than every other religion under the sun’. To really drive my point home, there are fifteen chapters in this book, but no real concrete knowledge until chapter ten (which is a chapter devoted to divination, most of it commonplace).

So in the end, while I felt like I learned something new, I really was left feeling that they could have put more work into the back part of the book, and condensed the front, even just a little. That being said, if you are looking to fulfill morbid curiosity, or find strong refutations of Christianity, this book will serve you well. If you are looking to really learn about the framework of Voodoo practice and history, I would spend my well earned money elsewhere.

 

Any suggestions for good Voodoo/Hoodoo ect. guides?

The Witch’s bookshelf: Instant Magick

Christopher Penczak’s ‘Instant Magick’

Instant magick Christopher Penczak

One word: visualization. This book is full of various visualizations intended to aid you in practicing your craft on the fly.

The title ‘Instant Magick’ makes it sound as though one should get out their mixing bowl, and wala! But spoiler alert, instant magick isn’t quite like that. Instead instant magick focuses on performing magic without the traditional tools, or anything physical and tangible for that matter, simply the direction of your own energy.

The first part of the book is great for those who are new to magic, or even just curious. It is a well written and researched overview of the commonalities in traditions. You get the sense that Penczak is well studied and well practiced. I enjoyed this first section immensely, even learned a few odd things.

The spells that follow in the middle of the book are for various small things, because he makes quite clear that the bigger the difference you want to make, the more time and effort  you have to spend. Most spells are intensely practical, if not a little silly feeling at first. Like the ‘find a parking spot’ spell, or the spell to make a computer work. Penczak puts great emphasis on not just using this as a Grimoire, but on learning the theory and practice, and crafting your own spells. The spells in the book serve as a good templet to help you understand the nature of his work and ideas. They also come chalk full of information about things like which Gods and Goddess are best to call upon for certain spells, or which colors or planetary influences work best ect. It borders on a compendium.

In fact the entire end of the book is devoted to a more in depth, less Grimoire-like section. You can also find more traditional spellcraft like healing and imbuing objects with your energy. In this section he reminds us constantly that there is no permanent substitute to traditional magic, this is more of a supplement. He does suggest trying to perform a traditional ritual mentally as well, but still only in the context of a supplement.

All in all I found this book an interesting departure from the typical spell books crammed with ingredients that one must obtain. It felt very twenty first century. So if you are looking for a slightly fresher take, you might enjoy this book. Penzczak’s readable and conversational style also makes this a good book for beginners in the craft.

How about you, do you ever practice without ritual and ritual tools?