Change

Sink or swim

Head bobbing in the tide

A speck in pre-dawn darkness

Flailing amidst wreckage

 

Are you the same?

 

I’m not.

 

It’s liquid dark under the waves

A roaring that numbs

If I reach the bottom

It scrapes my tender skin

 

Should I be the same?

 

It hurts too much.

 

When light seeps above the horizon

I see how slow hope is

Close my eyes and block it out

Float ‘til I’ve smashed against rocks

 

Nothing is ever the same

 

But it always hurts

Desolate

They don’t like if you laugh while you’re bleeding

 

You don’t know who I am

Every solitary word a hum of desolation

 

Yet I am still stretched up and over the sky

 

Rested on eons of vibration

Eyes closed, a slow drift into eternity

Too

I write for you

Savage

Tearing with teeth

Because I know

You are bleeding like me

Someone is looking up

At the void of stars

Trying to suck the little low-lying light

Into what’s left of a soul

 

Can I be the voice echoing back?

 

Me

 

Too

Mother of Sorrows EP (Album Release)

This album is experimental and very simple (vocals + bass guitar), but more than anything it was something that helped me get through some very dark times. The first track I wrote, heat, was short but packed with inescapable emotion. Practicing it, honing it, singing and playing it over and over not only gave me an escape but a channel for my emotions. My grief, sorrow,  anger and ptsd were all things I didn’t feel I could share with those around me, not wanting it to negatively effect them. Instead I wrote song after song, and ended up with this album.

I’ve only included some of the tracks (hence the EP), the ones that I felt were the best and most unique. They were also most representative of the story I was telling. My favorite track (the fool) comes at the end because of this, bringing a sort of closure to the plot, maybe even a slightly optimistic tone.

I hope that my pain speaks to others. You are not alone, that’s the hardest thing to figure out sometimes. Isolation is natural, hard to shake, but it is by no means necessary.

Please enjoy the lyrics and album art below!

Many Blessings,

Meno Silencio

 

Album Art and Lyrics/poetry

 

Original Cover Art:

Cover

Track 1: The Tower

The Tower

 

Lyrics:

The heart beats slowly,

The heart beats fast

I am still

In this my coffin

The pain is crawling up my spine

Tearing out the connections

 

The heart beats still

The heart beats frantic

I cannot escape

This my coffin

I cannot wash away memories

Every neuron is soiled

 

The heart beats like deaths drum

The heart beats, drenched in hopelessness

You have created

This my coffin

The tower is burning

Sending hot ash into my eyes

 

The heart beats slowly

The heart beats faster

The heart beats slowly

The heart beats faster

 

I try to tear off my skin

I want to tear out my eyes

I want to die

But I fail

Still….

 

The heart beat slowly

The heart beats faster

The heart beat slowly

The heart beats faster

 

Heat

 

Track 2: Heat

 

Lyrics:

The heat wells up from the earth

Touches my soul

And we burn

Like autumn

Like flame

Like fire

 

The earth is welling up

To take me home

Into its arms

Though I fear

It is calling

 

So shake my bones

Make me quiver

The earth is welling up

Burning like autumn

Like fire

Like flame

 

The earth is welling up

Destroying my fear

Burning my reason

Like autumn

Like fire

Like flame

 

I'll See You In Hell

 

Track 3: I’ll See You In Hell

 

Lyrics:

The sky comes down

Takes your eyes

I am laughing

From the solar eclipse

Safe in the suns dying glare

Its tail is like a knife

The spine of a bleeding rose

 

Taste my blood on high

I send it down

Cutting my wrists on shards of the moon

 

The sky comes down

To engulf you

I am laughing

From the broken universe

Riding in the swirling stars

Their tails are like knives

The spines of bleeding roses

 

I’m biding you farewell

With cut fingers

Dripping sorrows blood

I have cut them grasping stars in my escape

 

The sky comes down

Upon you like a storm

I am laughing from the dust and debris

Safe in the universes womb

Its tail is like a knife

The spine of a bleeding rose

 

Protect the blood of my womb

From your touch

I have cut myself already

On fear and hopelessness

 

The sky comes down

Takes your eyes

Know my name

You have called me Nemo

In your own way

But I’ll see you in hell

 

The Fool

 

Track 4: The Fool

 

Lyrics:

Got my sack in hand

Standing in the cosmic void

Edge of the universe

 

Saturn swings around my thumb

I miss home

Pluto is about my head

I miss breathing

 

[Chorus:

Take me away

Take me anywhere but here]

 

Got a stick to fend off the wolves

Could I fend off my heart

Howling savage in the night

 

The milky way is my shroud

I miss your touch

I exhale the planetary dust

I want to live inside of you

 

[Chorus]

 

Got the sun to my back

Stepping into the abyss

Edge of the universe

Don’t half mind

 

The planets align

I miss beginnings

The stars are all dust

All I have is lost time

 

[Chorus]

 

Got my sack in hand

Standing in the cosmic void

Edge of the universe

 

Buy Links: Google Play, Amazon  (Also available on Shazam, Itunes and Deezer)

Impasse

There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do

Offer flesh and bone

For a freedom

Integral to my skin

Why should I be denied?

But I’m used to unbridled desecration of my soul

I know you don’t care

And that leaves me a solitary shadow

A simple darkness

Alone until the great night falls, permanent and starless

New Day

Biting down on my razor blade teeth

Until I bleed

This is the only sunrise

 

You tried to appeal to the human in me

Wipe away my bloody smile

But I laughed inside

Knowing you killed it

In a line of unrelenting forced submisson

That I took

And took

 

So now this is fucking survival

This is the sharp edge

Dissecting my pain

To let in fleeting relief

And I will not bow to you